one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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