The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
