my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Green mimosas i think yes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Mom said you looked used
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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