smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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