What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
