I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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