Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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