No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
