I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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