**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
