I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
