Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm passing your future prison.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
