Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
