im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
