i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
