She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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