North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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