Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
