I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
