Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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