i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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