this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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