im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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