I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
it's like iHOP with fire
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
