we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
