just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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