Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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