And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
