i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
