High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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