Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
