You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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