wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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