Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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