I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
