Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
