When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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