i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Slut skills are useful in every country.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
