I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
