didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
