I think I died a long time ago.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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