Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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