I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
