I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
