Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
