Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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