If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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