in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
