Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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