If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ketchup is God's man juice
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
