He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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